Anxiety, Overthinking & Emotional Regulation

• Why does my anxiety feel worse since moving abroad?

Big life transitions, and moving abroad is a huge one, can have a significant impact on our nervous system and therefore on our ability to regulate emotions. Emotional regulation refers to our capacity to manage and soothe our emotional states.

Our nervous system relies on feelings of security, consistency, predictability, and stability. When we move to another country, many of these foundations are disrupted all at once. It is therefore completely normal for anxiety to increase during this period.

Everything we once knew can suddenly feel unfamiliar. Adjusting takes time: time to settle in, to feel at home, to build friendships, to find work, to adapt to a new school or professional environment. This process cannot be rushed.

What matters most is to normalise this experience and to approach ourselves and this new chapter with compassion as we navigate this transition.

• What can I do if I am overthinking everything I say in French ?

  
  

We often tend to be our own worst critic, and this can become even stronger when we are learning a new language or refining our skills. In these moments, it’s easy to focus on every mistake and to judge ourselves harshly.

What’s important to remember is that growth lies in the process, not in the result. Perfection is neither realistic nor necessary. As long as we are human, we will continue to make mistakes, and that is not a failure, but an essential part of learning and becoming more confident.

It can also be helpful to keep in mind that we are usually much harder on ourselves than others are. And even if someone does respond with judgment while we are trying, this often reflects their own inner struggles rather than anything about us.

• Why do I replay social interactions more since living in Paris?

  
  

Many people find themselves replaying social interactions when living in a new city, especially abroad. This can happen for several reasons. Increased anxiety during a major life transition can strengthen the link between our emotions and our thoughts, making rumination more likely.

Cultural differences can also play a role. When social norms are unfamiliar, we may second-guess ourselves more easily. At the same time, as human beings, we have a strong need for connection. When we are trying to make friends in a new country, social interactions can feel higher-stakes. If an interaction feels uncertain, our mind may replay it in an attempt to make sure everything “went okay.”

This is a very common response to uncertainty. Our brain is trying to protect us by scanning for potential social threats.

It can be helpful to notice this pattern with compassion, rather than judgment, and to gently name when we are going down the replaying or rumination “rabbit hole.” From there, we can practise creating some distance from these thoughts and commit to letting the interaction be as it was, rather than continuing to analyse it.

It can also be grounding to reconnect with what makes us a likeable friend, colleague, or family member, and to trust that these qualities are present regardless of how any single interaction unfolds.

• 
  

  How do I calm my nervous system when I constantly feel “on edge”?

Feeling constantly on edge can be exhausting, and simply recognising that you want to feel better is already an important first step. One helpful approach is to reconnect with the body and emotional experience by working on regulating the nervous system.

Nervous system regulation can be supported through different therapeutic techniques, often explored with a registered psychologist or psychotherapist. One example is a grounding practice. For instance, you might take five slow, deep breaths, then gently notice:

5 things you can see,

4 things you can touch,

3 things you can hear,

2 things you can smell,

1 thing you can taste.

You can then check in with how your body feels before and after the exercise.

Emotional regulation can be used in the moment to help settle emotions in real time, but it can also be developed over time through daily practices that support long-term calm. For example, maintaining a regular exercise routine can help regulate the nervous system in a more consistent and stable way.

• Why is my inner critic louder since moving abroad ?

  
  

If your inner critic has become harsher since moving abroad, you’re not alone. A major life transition already asks a lot of us, and when self-criticism increases on top of that, it can feel especially distressing.

The “inner critic” refers to the internal voice that judges or criticises us. This form of self-talk can be deeply undermining. Simply noticing that this voice has become louder since becoming an expat, and recognising how it makes you feel, is already an important step in working through these thoughts and emotions.

Once we are able to identify the inner critic, it can be helpful to notice the impact it has on us and to practise responding with compassion. For example, you might ask yourself: How would I speak to a friend in the same situation? What tone would I use? What might they be needing right now?

Sometimes the most healing response to the inner critic is simply to meet it with understanding instead of resistance.